The Erotic Muse: Exotic Magazine (June 2014)


I remember it like it was last night; yet it was summer of 2009, when the slender, dark skinned, sparkling stripper took the stage. Her name was Choco-latte, or something similarly outlandish. Her eyelashes shone like rhinestones in the red light, and her Victoria’s secret brassier snapped delicately across her clavicles. Her butt was tight and round, and her penis was long and proud. Choco-latte was formerly a man, now primped to perfection as a lady, and she had charmed her way on to the Lucky Devil Lounge stage. An odd mixture did titillate the cochlea of my ears, as some men groaned in apparent annoyance, but most of the club cheered in excitement. I took a seat at the rack, dollars in hand. Something different! Something new! Something totally not-Portland!

Portland considers itself a progressive city, and in many ways it surpasses the rest of America in regards to more diverse social values and higher standards of living. Yet in such a hive of adult entertainment, it seems odd that there is not much variance in our nightlife, Oh sure, sixty strip clubs with female dancers, a couple of sex clubs, one and a half strip clubs featuring male dancers, some lingerie modeling and jack-shacks sprinkled around. What is Portland missing? And then I found her. Her name, for purposes here, is Angela, and she is a queer transgender beauty. Slender and curvy, with breasts like mine and still a better ass, I hope she reads this and lets me buy her a drink. Or five.

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In what types of sex work have you participated?

I’ve mostly done GFE work. But I did a couple of spots feature dancing here or there a few years ago.

What was your experience as a stripper?

It was actually pretty stressful for me. The people that I interacted with in management at the time were so hyper critical of my image/body that I got constantly anxious. When I could move past that stuff, being on stage was great. The crowds were thirsty, and pretty respectful. Guys will always say some out-of-touch stuff when it comes to trans women if they’ve never met us, but generally things were good.

Would you do it again? Where?

I danced in Vegas and San Francisco. I don’t think I’d do it again. In order to dance as a trans woman you’ve got to go to one of the few clubs that either have trans only nights, or places that are all trans women every night. I have too much penis for Portland. In fact, I know places that will fire you if they find out that you are transgender, even if you’ve had lower surgery.

Why do you think that is?

No one wants to be known as the tranny bar. Probably due to machismo that lingers in the owners and/managers in the city. Although for what it’s worth all my years I’ve basically only ever seen straight men interested in me.

A strip club with trans-lady strippers would definitely be a slow starter, but would fill up as soon as word got out. Trans women providers can charge close to 3 times as much as cisgender women. And still have high demand.

In this economy?

I was able to continue raising prices even during recession. My wages went up. Just look at how popular Tranny Tuesdays is at that sex club, "Ropes". It’s packed on a Tuesday.

I feel like there is an untapped demand with no supply. I feel like any business is going to open up to potential backlash, and violence, or attack. Which might be why nobody does it. Perhaps shrewd club owners see the viability in such a venture, but from an insurance perspective it might be intimidating.

A strip club is more high profile than a queer bar or a sex club doing it. But it’s worth noting that violence hasn’t been an issue at those places.

I think a lot of the clientele at a regular hetero strip club is a lot of conservative and the middle-of-the-road men.

Those are my customers.

And they typically self- identify as straight?


So Portland isn’t ready for trans strippers?

I think if a club wanted to have a night dedicated to trans women dancers, people would lose their minds in a good way. There’s a lot of desire out there for trans babes, and considering that there already are queer nights that have trans women as burlesque dancers, it’s only a matter of time before some daring club branches out and takes on that direction. As long as the club is super upfront in signage, and advertising for the night, I wouldn’t foresee anything but good times and dollar signs. One thing I will say is that in my experience, locals tend to be more respectful. Tourists will often be more likely to get handsy and cause trouble. It’s also important to remember that your trans dancers are probably concerned about potential violence, and doing what you can to ease those concerns will help assure you hire the foxiest babes and keep them happy. A happy stripper is a busy stripper.

I’ve said it before; if there is one thing that I’d like from a sexy woman while she fucks me, it would be a huge penis. And if this little columnist finds it appealing, I’m sure I’m not alone. There’s a reason that high quality transgender pornography typically costs much more than generic boy on girl or girl on girl filmed sex, people want to see it, and it’s rare to find. Mae West once stated that, "A hard man is good to find." Yet I’ll wager that a hard woman is just as exciting.

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Choco-latte was not a newbie stripper. She booty bounced so effectively I was nearly envious, and kicked off her heels triumphantly to climb the pole, her long legs never once grazing the nearby mirrors. By the end of the second song, she wore on only a G-string, a hair-weave and a huge grin. I’d hardly heard such a collective roar of delight from the audience, and she scooped up armfuls of bills. Men clapped and swigged their beer and watched her leave, before quieting and returning to their barstools and tables. Choco-latte dressed in the lap dance room, and dropped a mountain of money in our dressing room, leaving it to the girls on shift. And like a magical mocha unicorn, she disappeared in to the night. I wonder what she’s doing right now. If you’re reading this, Choco-latte, Come back. Portland needs you.

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