Since The COVID 19 Crisis Started, My Sex Drive Has Been So Low (Confluence)

May 19, 2020


Q: Since the COVID 19 crisis started, my sex drive has been so low. I want the connection but I don’t have the libido I did. How can my partner and I find intimacy and sexual connection when I just don’t want to have sex like I used to?...(read more)

I’m A Parent Making Porn To Make Ends Meet During Covid Quarantine (Huffington Post)

April 27, 2020


For some of us, porn-making and digital work are our only real option to provide for our families right now... (read more)

Why Supporting Sex Workers Right Now Is Important (Momotaro Apotheca)

April 17, 2020


In the midst of this COVID pandemic and worldwide lockdowns, more of us are staying home and keeping company with our cells, laptops, and tv screens. Which means more porn watching and digital hookups. In this springtime of social distancing, even mainstream media sex-education experts began recommending folks to masturbate and engage in online and digital sex... (read more)

When Chivalry Is A Mask For Coercion (Anarres Project) (Confluence)

March 2, 2020


A short story about how one man's determination to look compassionate was actually motivated by his boner... (read more)

On Partners Who Dislike Sex Work (Confluence) (Confluence)

February 27, 2020


As a longtime public stripper, I often receive contact from other women in the adult industries who are navigating dating and sex work and experiencing jealousy from their partners. What follows is two examples of folks who recently wrote to me and feeling unsupported and invalidated by their boyfriends... (read more)

I Don’t Know If I’m Normal Or Not; I Love To Orgasm, But Only When I Masturbate Alone (Confluence)

January 15, 2020


Q: I don't know if I'm normal or not; I love to orgasm, but only when I masturbate alone. It makes me uncomfortable to orgasm with my boyfriend. Like, totally out of control for my body and it makes me feel unsafe and uncomfortable even though I feel 100% comfortable with him. Is that normal?... (read more)

How To Be A Good Patron At A Strip Club For $50 Or Less

September 17, 2019


Q: One of my friends recently started dancing at the local strip club and asked me to come out and see and support her with tips and a friendly face. I really want to! I just don’t have a ton of money and don’t want to waste anyone’s time. Are there things I can do to ensure I’m not a time waster but can still come support my friend? I have like $50 to spend, only... (read more)

I Got A Breast Augmentation Postpartum And An Implant Ruptured (Romper)

July 25, 2019


Approximately 300,000 people in the United States got breast implants last year. I experienced a silicone implant rupture within five years of my postpartum augmentation, and it was costly and stressful. Many other women have had similar experiences, which they have shared under the hashtags #BreastImplantIllness or #BII. On July 24, 2019, Allergen, a manufacturer of implants, issued a recall of textured implants and tissue expanders after an FDA investigation, as CNN reported... (read more)

My Boyfriend Wants To Try Rape Fantasty Play—I’m A Sexual Assault Survivor (Confluence)

April 17, 2019


My boyfriend as recently expressed an interest in fantasy play. At first, I was into it. We had a lot of fun making up scenarios and playing them out. I will totally admit it spiced things up between us in a very good way. However, recently he has suggested more violent type fantasies... (read more)

My Boyfriend’s Best Friend Just Started Dating A Woman Who Openly Calls Herself A Swinger And It Makes Me Nervous (Confluence)

March 6, 2019


Q: My boyfriend’s best friend just started dating a woman who openly calls herself a swinger. He seems very happy, in fact, happier than I’ve ever seen him in a relationship. He’s mentioned some things that make me believe they are exploring the "swinger" lifestyle together. It makes me very uncomfortable. I think it’s a cop-out and an excuse to cheat... (read more)

My Fiancé Wants Me To Try Being A "Cam Girl." I’m Not So Sure (Confluence)

January 28, 2019


Q: My fiancé and I have used porn as a way of enhancing our sex life for several months and I enjoy doing that with him. I know some won’t agree, but it’s felt very intimate and I know our sex life feels hotter with some cinematic inspiration at times... (read more)

My Teen Daughter Has Been Sexting An Adult—I Don’t Know What To Do (Confluence)

January 14, 2019


Q: I realize I am going to sound like a frantic parent, but I don’t know what to do. I know it was wrong but I was very suspicious and I went through my fifteen-year-old daughter’s phone. What I found was worse than I imagined it would be... (read more)

How To Ask For What You Want In Bed After Baby — Or Ever (Romper)

October 25, 2018


There was a time in my life when I was too afraid to ask for what I wanted while I was having sex. I was an award-worthy performance actress capable of moans, groans, grunts, and even staccato breathing... (read more)

Slutwalk Recap - 2018 (PDXScene)

October 1, 2018


Read my interview with PDXScene Magazine to get the low-down on what our organizers dealt with to bring a peaceful event to downtown Portland... (read more)

How To Prevent Sex-Related Injuries (Confluence)

October 1, 2018


Q: My husband and I have been having some really great sex recently. It’s been more frequent and more intense. I guess you might say more vigorous. I’m really enjoying the new momentum in our sex life but I’m finding myself with a variety of minor injuries... (read more)

I Think My Husband Has A Porn Addiction. He Thinks I’m Crazy (Confluence)

September 24, 2018


Q: I think my husband has a porn addiction. He thinks I’m crazy. I’m not anti-porn. I’m really not. I know people use porn for a variety of healthy reasons. However... (read more)

My Partner Wants Me To Be More Vocal In Bed. (Confluence)

September 17, 2018


Q: I realize this sounds silly, but my new boyfriend wants me to be more vocal in bed. He’s asked me several times to talk dirty to him. I feel so awkward. It makes me uncomfortable and distracted... (read more)

How Do We Talk To Our Teen Daughter About Sex? (Confluence)

September 4, 2018


Q: My daughter is 14 and I’m very suspicious she is sexually active. Her father and I do not think she’s ready for the responsibility that comes along with the decisions she’s making. While we do not agree, I want to be able to have conservations... (read more)

Our Pre-Teen Daughter Stumbled Upon Our Porn (Confluence)

August 20, 2018


Q: My preteen daughter stumbled upon my porn, my wife and I found various screens open on our computer that was all kinds of queer gang bang stuff, we haven't told her that we know she found it, and she recently started asking me questions about how men and women have sex... (read more)

Why Is Instagram Coming Down On Strippers? (Playboy)

August 1, 2018


Consensual sex is under attack again. Liberals and conservatives and moderates alike are applauding recent legislation that is killing sex workers and is diverting resources from victims of sex trafficking... (read more)

Understanding Gender And Sexual Identity: Gender Does Not Always Relate To Genitals (Confluence)

July 30, 2018


In our last piece, I touched on pansexuality in a very introductory way. Now let’s discuss different types of gender identity... (read more)

Pansexuality: My Daughter Just Came Out, But She’s Not Exactly Gay (Confluence)

July 23, 2018


Q: My daughter recently sat us down and "came out" to us. It was shocking enough to hear she wasn’t straight. However, she’s not exactly saying she’s gay either. She told us she’s pansexual... (read more)

How To Care For Yourself If You Are Susceptible To Urinary Tract Infections & Yeast Infection (Confluence)

July 16, 2018


Q:What can a girl do to care for herself if she is susceptible to urinary tract infections and yeast infections?... (read more)

So...What About Sex Clubs??? (Confluence)

July 3, 2018


Q: My husband and I have been married for four years. We've had a relatively tame but satisfying sex life. Recently though, the topic of sex clubs has come up... (read more)

I’m 46 Years Old And I Haven’t Had An Orgasm In Almost Two Years...Help! (Confluence)

June 25, 2018


Q: I am forty-six years old and I haven’t had an orgasm in almost two years. I’m having great sex, but orgasms elude me. It’s frustrating for me, but it’s really hard on my partner... (read more)

Grown Woman’s Guide To Buying A Sex Toy (Confluence)

June 18, 2018


Welcome to a starter’s guide to common sex toys, and a brief introduction of a few lesser known ones. Dildo and vibrator and buttplug are more than just fun words to say... (read more)

I Want A Real Polyamorous Relationship With Some Roots And Depth & I Don’t Know Where To Start (Confluence)

June 11, 2018


Q:I’ve always been in monogamous relationships. However, after my last break-up, I started considering polyamory. I’m interested in exploring it more. However, I’m having trouble explaining this to people I’m dating... (read more)

Tightness, Anxiety And What To Do About It (Confluence)

June 4, 2018


Q: After having two kids in less than three years I’m worried about my sex life. More specifically, I’m worried about my vagina. I know I’m not as tight as I used to be and I’m worried sex isn’t as good for my partner because of it... (read more)

Guilt, Religion And Sex Before Marriage (Confluence)

May 28, 2018


Q: I was raised in a very traditionally Christian home. I learned that sex was for marriage without exception. However, as a twenty-two-year-old woman, I have decided to explore my sexuality outside of marriage. I believe this is important but I’m riddled with guilt... (read more)

Inquiring Minds Want To Know: The Ins And Outs Of Period Sex (Confluence)

May 21, 2018


Q:I’m in a long-term committed relationship that feels safe and supportive. We have a great sex-life. However, I have unusually long periods sometimes lasting more than ten days... (read more)

We Tried Some 50 Shades Of Grey Style Kink To Spice It Up And It Was A Miserable Failure (Confluence)

May 14, 2018


Q: I’m embarrassed to even admit this, but recently we tried some 50 Shades style kink to spice it up and it was a miserable failure. The book AND the movie were way better than our reality... (read more)

How I Will Talk To My Daughter About Sex (Unbound)

May 10, 2018


My dear child, I want you to have a better sex life than I did. I want your puberty to be less distressing than mine was. I want your first partnered sexual experiences to be pleasurable... (read more)

The Anti Porn Laws That Are Killing People (Unbound)

April 30, 2018


There is a bill that recently passed, and it’s been applauded as a "bi-partisan victory for women." If you’re like me and feel a minor panic attack creeping with every iPhone news update, you might have appreciated a blip of seemingly good news. Perhaps you even "liked" or retweeted about it... (read more)

My Boyfriend Likes To Go To Strip Clubs...I Don't Want To Make It A Big Deal But I Feel Threatened And Insecure About It (Confluence)

April 24, 2018


Q: My boyfriend likes to go to strip clubs. I don’t want to make it a big deal but I feel threatened and insecure about it... (read more)

My Husband And I Had An Amazing Sex Life Until We Had Our Baby. Now I Can’t Orgasm (Confluence)

April 16, 2018


Q: My husband and I had an amazing sex life until we had our baby. After she was born we both still wanted it, but it’s different now. It’s almost impossible for me to orgasm. It’s frustrating for both of us... (read more)

My Fiance Feels Neglected Because We Don’t Have Sex As Often As He’d Like - What Now? (Confluence)

March 19, 2018


Q: In the last year, I’ve gotten a new job and it’s very physically and emotionally demanding, and my fiance of three years complains if we go longer than four or five days without sex... (read more)

My Libido Is Dead And My Partner Still Wants To Fuck - What Now? (Confluence)

March 2, 2018


This is a short answer to a very common question... (read more)

Just Because She’s Wet Doesn’t Mean She’s Horny (Medium)

February 2, 2017


Can you think of an occasion when your penis got hard and yet you weren't aroused? Have you ever experienced 'morning wood'? Or random erections due to nonsexual physical stimulation?... (read more)

Actually, Talking About Porn With Your Kids Is Easy & Crucial (Romper)

December 10, 2017


The first time I saw porn was in my parent’s bathroom. My dad kept Playboy and Hustler in a neat stack next to the toilet, secured by an ashtray that never moved. The ashtray to me symbolized a padlock—it was understood that we were not to touch the ashtray, not to lift it to peek at what lay beneath. But we did... (read more)

So You Have An STI. What Should You Do Next? (Men’s Health)

November 30, 2017


It’s often hard for people to know how to talk about sexually transmitted infections (STIs). The topic can prompt a lot of awkward or potentially stressful conversations. But if you’re a grown man who has sex with other adults, you need to be equipped with the proper tools to navigate your sexual health safely and mindfully. Because the truth is, STIs are way more common than you think... (read more)

Your Low Libido Is Probably Normal (Romper)

November 13, 2017


When I was a child, I was a proud DARE kid. I believed Deputy McGruff when he told me that if I smoked a 'doobie,' I’d become entangled in a world of crime, failure, and depression. In my teens I thought that only musicians and skateboarders fell victim to 'reefer madness' and that weed would impede my brain’s development. Plus I hated the smell: it was like an even worse version of patchouli... (read more)

I’m a Sex Worker Asking the 9th Circuit Court to Decriminalize Prostitution (Medium)

October 23, 2017


For the first time in thirteen years, the U.S. Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals is revisiting the legality of full service sex work. The case is ESPLERP vs Gascón, in which three sex workers, one client, and the Erotic Service Providers Legal, Educational and Research Project are challenging the state ban on prostitution... (read more)

Is Your Bike Killing Your Boner? (Men’s Health)

October 20, 2017


Erectile dysfunction: it’s every man’s worst fear. Unfortunately, it’s also pretty common: according to one estimate, nearly 18 million American men struggle with erectile dysfunction in some form. There are many factors that contribute to ED, notably poor diet, lack of sleep, and stress. There’s also one potential cause that we don’t often talk about: cycling... (read more)

ABC Knees (A Whore’s Poem)

October 7, 2017


It’s just a joke, I’ve heard... (read more)

I’m A Mom Who Smokes Pot With My Kid In The House, & I’ll Tell You Why

September 19, 2017


When I was a child, I was a proud DARE kid. I believed Deputy McGruff when he told me that if I smoked a 'doobie,' I’d become entangled in a world of crime, failure, and depression. In my teens I thought that only musicians and skateboarders fell victim to 'reefer madness' and that weed would impede my brain’s development. Plus I hated the smell: it was like an even worse version of patchouli... (read more)

I Have A Child On The Spectrum & I’m A Stronger Parent Because Of Her

August 11, 2017


For people with mood, anxiety, and sensory disorders, trying to 'fit in' becomes the most stressful aspect of life. I won't hold my kid to some ridiculous standard of learning or self-expression, simply because her brain doesn't function the way that many others do... (read more)

I Only Fuck Feminists (Medium)

July 16, 2017


I am a woman who unabashedly loves men. I love them short, I love them tall, and I love them bearded, shaved, bald, trim, or chunky. I love the way they smell; I love the scratch of a stubbled jaw against my cheek. How do I adore men? I could count the ways... (read more)

Massage Ring (Unbound)

July 7, 2017


Her keys jangle and *clunk* as she throws them on the counter, pecks my cheek, and pads down the hallway to the bedroom. There, she will peel off her clothes and toss them aside, while I begin to fill up the bathtub and start the kettle to boil water for tea. My woman is on her feet all day, bending and lifting and kneeling and scraping. And I wait for her, at home... (read more)

I’m Raising My Daughter Without Gender Roles (Romper)

June 12, 2017


When someone is pregnant, we usually ask them, "Is it a boy or a girl?" When I was pregnant, I asked myself the same question, and my sonogram confirmed it: there was a tiny vulva on the human growing inside me. But even though I knew I was having a girl, what did that actually mean?... (read more)

I Won’t Pierce My Daughter’s Ears, Because Honestly, I Think It’s Wrong (Romper)

May 16, 2017


Every morning, my daughter watches me fluff my cheeks with a brush and adjust a silver ring through my septum. My septum is the oldest of my facial piercings. I’ve had it in my schnozz for 11 years. I had it professionally stretched, and I can fit cocktail straws through my nose. My partner’s earlobes are pierced and stretched to the point that they resemble onion rings, and my daughter’s dad is so heavily tattooed that I’m certain the palms of his hands and the soles of his feet are the only places where he doesn’t have ink... (read more)

Yes, I Want My Daughter To See Me Naked, & Here’s Why (Romper)

April 22, 2017


I was giving my 5-year-old a bath in our tiny tub littered with toys when she started giving me an impromptu breast exam. "That nipple is longer," she said, pointing at my breasts. I looked down to verify this new bit of information. I counted my nipple hairs: one, two, three, four. I lifted my skin to examine the underside of my boobs, noting the recent crop of tiny, black hairs. "Interesting," I said, and looked around for the tweezers... (read more)

I’m a Sex Worker Who Is Sick of Female Misogyny (Huffington Post)

April 12, 2017


So you’re a feminist, ey? You tell your kids that girls and boys are equal? That little ladies can grow up to be firefighters and astronauts, that boys can play with dolls and paint their nails? That’s a good start, but the bare minimum a decent adult can do in the year 2017... (read more)

What It’s Like To Be A Mom & A Sex Worker (Romper)

April 4, 2017


I’ve been a sex worker for eight years, and a parent for five. I chose both of these jobs. I’m constantly tired, sore, and dehydrated, and that’s before I head to the night shift... (read more)

How To Give A Blowjob

April 3, 2017


I’ve been reading blowjob tips in ladies’ and men’s magazines for a decade, and I’m sick of the same ol’ "poke ’em in the perineum" recommendation. I’ve culled my own tips and tricks, and gathered the knowledge of a porn star and two sex educators who actually enjoy S-ing the D. I also polled my male readers and found a few common affinities. Feel free to take notes, or email me suggestions... (read more)

Why I Call My Partner "Daddy" (Romper)

March 23, 2017


Calling my partner "daddy" in bed is new to me—I used to find the kinky term of endearment to be stomach-churning, but now I call my partner "daddy" in bed because I think it’s pretty hot. I’m 30 years old, and I’ve had sex with people of all genders, but mostly cisgender men, for half of my life... (read more)

I Gave Oral Sex To Induce Labor (Romper)

March 16, 2017


If you Google "how to naturally induce labor," you’ll find a host of articles. Acupressure massage. Bananas. Pineapple. Nipple stimulation. Raspberry leaf tea. Visualization. Yoga. Wine, even. I tried each of those things, and a few more (like giving my partner oral sex to induce labor, but more on that later)... (read more)

Elle Answers Your Your Sex & Dating Questions

February 28, 2017


Monogamy for bi-sexuals. Serene vaginas. Trauma and libido. In this edition, we opened our inbox to a few of your questions. Have a pressing question you’d like to ask? Hit up the comments section or contct Unzipped PDX podcast team via email... (read more)

Childbirth Absolutely Changed The Way I Orgasm (Romper)

February 14, 2017


Before I had my first baby. I’d always been an orgasmic gal. My mom caught me humping my giant stuffed elephant before I was old enough to ride a bike, and in kindergarten, I learned that if I sat "criss-cross-applesauce," I could rub my right heel against my pubic mound to stimulate my tiny self to orgasm, with hardly anyone the wiser. But if I'm being honest, it was having a baby that totally changed my relationship with my orgasm... (read more)

Honestly, My C-Section Scar Makes Me Feel Self-Conscious During Sex (Romper)

January 14, 2017


The first time my mother had a c-section was when she gave birth to me. The doctors couldn’t find my heartbeat in that Kansas hospital in September 1986, so I was pulled from her womb. At the time, there was little conversation about vaginal births after cesareans, so my younger sister was born in the same manner three years later... (read more)

A Stripper’s Guide to Body Hair Removal for Men and Women (Thrillist)

December 9, 2016


For many of us, body hair removal is an integral part of our pre-sex preening process. Do you prefer men with trimmed pubes and hairy pits? Do you like your ladies with Brazilians, or bushes? There’s no hard-and-fast rule on this stuff... (read more)

Signs He’s Undateable, According to a Stripper Who’s Seen It All (Thrillist)

December 9, 2016


As a stripper for the last eight years, I’ve seen it all. Here are some signs that person you’ve been seeing is definitely NOT relationship material... (read more)

My Plastic Surgery Is Feminist As Fuck (Slutist)

December 9, 2016


I shouldn’t have to defend my boob job, but here we go... (read more)

Elle Oh Elle: Everything You Need to Know About Working as a Stripper (Thrillist)

October 27, 2016


It takes more than pole-dance classes and locker-room selfies to become a stripper. Stripping—and the hustle of selling your time and company—is a competitive sales job in a highly stigmatized atmosphere... (read more)

Elle Oh Elle: 7 Variations On The Missionary Position That Are Anything But Boring (Thrillist)

October 22, 2016


In spite of it being one of the most common, intimate sexual positions, missionary still gets pushed aside as being too basic. Why is that, when it lets you kiss, embrace, and allows at least one of you to indulge in a bit of on-the-back laziness?.. (read more)

Elle Oh Elle: Car Sex Is Underrated. Here's How to Pull It Off (Thrillist)

September 12, 2016


The first car I had sex in was a Ford Thunderbird. Since then, I’ve maneuvered my way toward climax in a Jeep Patriot, Chevy S-10, two Subarus (Outback and Forester), and two VWs (Passat and GTI)... (read more)

Elle Oh Elle: What Does Transgender Mean? Your Guide to Understanding Trans Terminology (Thrillist)

September 2, 2016


For this edition of Elle Oh Elle, I’ve enlisted the voice of Monika MHz, a Portland DJ and columnist. Monika is a trans woman, and she’s here to explain how you can make the world a better place by removing transphobia from your life... (read more)

Elle Oh Elle: It’s Time to Put an End to Small Penis Jokes (Thrillist)

August 29, 2016


I get it&mdashsmall dick jokes are grade-school easy, and the screenshots look super snazzy on your Tumblr feed. But when you fling a micro-penis joke at some douchebag, you’re actually doing more harm than good. Here’s why... (read more)

I’m a Stripper, But I Just Visited a Sex Club for the First Time (Thrillist)

August 18, 2016


It was my first time in a sex club. And for all my experience with nightlife and sex as a professional stripper, I had little experience with a combination of the two. I admit: I was nervous... (read more)

Your Sex Questions on Double Penetration and More, Answered (Thrillist)

July 28, 2016


Welcome to Elle Oh Elle, where Portland-based writer and adult entertainer Elle Stanger takes your sex life from subpar to subversive... (read more)

What Happens When Strippers Fall in Love With Clients? (Thrillist)

July 19, 2016


"How did you two meet?" It’s a common question, and some couples have more interesting answers than others. For me, I met the father of our child for the first time in July of 2009, a few weeks after I had started stripping. As a new stripper, it was overwhelming enough trying to dance nude. But as I gradually became comfortable with my new gig... (read more)

Porn-Star Sex Moves That Can Still Work in the Average Bedroom (Thrillist)

July 14, 2016


Great sex doesn’t require fancy toys. You don’t need sexy lingerie or a dizzying repertoire of dirty talk, and you DEFINITELY don’t need a ton of experience to give any lover a memorable romp. Often, porn-star sex just requires you to ditch the script of boring bedroom habits and your standby, tried-and-true positions. To do so, I’ve compiled a simple list of variations you can make on old favorites... (read more)

Yes, Watching Porn Can Make Your Life Better (Thrillist)

July 12, 2016


I recently read a New York Times piece blaming pornography for the rise in labiaplasty in teenagers, and I read an Elle magazine article that pointed the finger at BDSM pornography as a cause of physically abusive relationships... (read more)

Slutwalking in Portland (Slutist)

July 7, 2016


I was having trouble with this phone conversation, as I have every year for the past three years. "S as in Sam... S, L, U, T, W, A, L, K... No ma’am this is not a prank. Yes, I’m an organizer for this event"... (read more)

Confessions of a Former Sex Shop Clerk (Thrillist)

June 24, 2016


Working as a porn clerk for four years was a brilliant, outlandish adventure better than any Chuck Palahniuk novel. I watched sweet grannies try on sexy maid outfits in the dressing room... (read more)

Elle Oh Elle: Physically Challenging Sex Positions to Try at Your Own Risk (Thrillist)...

May 27, 2016


Missionary, doggy style, woman on top: those are basically the primary colors of humping. I was challenged by Thrillist to try a more extreme approach to penetration, with these five physically challenging sexual positions. I wasn’t going to go it alone. How could I? First, I asked four folks who work with bodies for a living to study... (read more)

Four Presidential Candidates Walk Into a Strip Club...

May 07, 2016


Presidential races should be relegated to a strict discussion of policy, not hypothetical character studies. But since Hillary charges $2,700 for a selfie, Trump is a walking subreddit comment section, Cruz is the Zodiac killer and Birdie Sanders is a Disney princess, this POTUS race really couldn’t be any more outlandish... (read more)

What the Stripper Is Thinking While She Gives You a Lap Dance (Thrillist)

April 01, 2016


I’ve given approximately 20,000 lap dances. Some have been pleasurable, some were repulsive, some have been downright perplexing. And, of course, I can’t possibly recall the vast majority of them... (read more)

I’m a Sex Worker, and This is What I’ll Tell My Child (Elephant Journal)

March 18, 2016

Hello, Daughter. As I type this, you are in your bedroom, coloring and playing. You will be four years old on Wednesday. You asked to see my new shoes today. They were a gift from a customer. "Are those for dancing?" you asked. I smiled, "Yes." "Are they for your work?" I paused. And smiled again. "Yes."... (read more)

Elle Oh Elle: Expert Advice on Sex Drives, Online Flirting, and Bedroom Compatibility (Thrillist)

January 28, 2016

In this edition, our resident love meter has opened up her inbox to answer readers’ pressing sex questions about everything from depleted sex drives to pursuing sex via hard drive... (read more)

Elle Oh Elle: What Stripping Has Taught Me About Dating Men (Thrillist)

January 10, 2016

For most humans, having a conversation with a stranger is a daunting endeavor. That’s why blind dates, Tinder dates — any dates, really — are stressful: we’re looking to gather information about the other person while portraying the best, hopefully honest version of ourselves... (read more)

Elle Oh Elle: Eat Your Way to Better Sex (Thrillist)

December 09, 2015

Happy Holidays. Have you finally thrown out those congealed Thanksgiving leftovers? Did you pack yourself full of meats and breads and sauces, and are you ready to do it again? Good news, my intrepid, perverted eaters: we’re going to talk about cooking for healthy humping... (read more)

No, My Child Does Not Have to Hug You: Why I’m Raising My Toddler to Understand Consent (Elephant Journal)

December 5, 2015


We cook and drink and laugh and argue and drive to gather in the warm homes of folks that we call "Friends and Family." Kids play and fight over toys and video-games. Adults cook and drink... (read more)

Expert Advice on Libidos, Clearing Your Mind, and Banging Your Ex's Best Friend (Thrillist)

November 11, 2015

Low libido. Sexual ADHD. Unrequited love. In this edition, we opened our inbox to a few of your questions. Have a pressing question you’d like to ask? Hit up the... (read more)

Elle's Slutwalk Portland Review (Online Exclusive)

October 11, 2015

Oh, the things I saw at Slutwalk. It is September 20th, 2015. It is noon on Sunday, and I've loaded up the vehicles of friends with the PA system that my daughter's father has donated for the event... (read more)

The Fact and Fiction of Open Relationships (Thrillist)

September 22, 2015

Welcome to "Elle-Oh-Elle," thrillist's new column in which infamous Portland-based writer and entertainer Elle Stanger will help your sex life go from subpar to subversive... (read more)

The Erotic Muse: September 2015 (Exotic Magazine)

September 1, 2015

"Well, here girlie, I won’t buy a dance, but I’ll get you a drink and help you scout out some real money." The young man was former military, quite handsome, and passively insulting me. I was still standing at the bar... (read more)

The Erotic Muse: In Bed With Our Next President (Exotic Magazine)

September 1, 2015

The great American pastime; no, it’s not really baseball. It’s the cutthroat antics of the media circus known as the Presidential Election cycle. It’s hard to imagine a better collection of caricatures, and yet here are the front-runners... (read more)

A Complete Moron’s Guide to Strip Club Etiquette (Thrillist)

August 28, 2015


Going to a strip club is a complete sensory overload: between the flashing lights, the blaring music, and the thick scent of perfume—plus, you know, the naked ladies—it can be hard to get your bearings, let alone figure out how you should behave... (read more)

The Erotic Muse: August 2015 (Exotic Magazine)

August 1, 2015

If, according to that old adage, the definition of "insanity" is doing the same thing multiple times and expecting a different result, I still haven’t figured out what the definition of "weird" is... (read more)

Elle Stanger Takes on Gamergate (Burro)

July 04, 2015

It was Christmas afternoon in 1996. The adults were cooking and drinking upstairs, and the kids, myself included, were still in love with the plastic goodies we’d just earlier unwrapped. My prize for the holiday... (read more)

The Erotic Muse: May 2015 (Exotic Magazine)

May 1, 2015

"You got any Dragon Lady films?" It was 2005, in a southern California porn shop, and the octogenarian at the counter was asking me a question that that was so far indiscernible at the least, and vaguely racist at worst. I faltered, "dragon... lady?" He shook his head, annoyed... (read more)

The 10 Strip Club Commandments (Thrillist)

January 06, 2015

Strip clubs are like temples, except instead of religious iconography, they happen to be full of beautiful women and booze. And like a temple, there are certain guiding principles that one... (read more)

The Erotic Muse: June 2014 (Exotic Magazine)

June 01, 2014

I remember it like it was last night; yet it was summer of 2009, when the slender, dark skinned, sparkling stripper took the stage. Her name was Choco-latte, or something similarly outlandish... (read more)

The Bare Necessities (Burro)

April 01, 2014

We were naked, the four of us, except for the boots on our feet and the bundles of heavy, mismatched clothing that we held to our torsos.. The stiff wind blew up my backside and the other... (read more)

As Real as it Gets (Burro)

November 01, 2013

Seated, my hands rested on my bare thighs and crossed legs as the young man looked earnestly in at my face. He was searching my expression to the question he had just asked, "When... (read more)

Let’s All Laugh About Abuse Via Twitter (Burro)

July 10, 2013

I have no idea who Kelly Oxford is, but she ruined my Imgur experience last night. The mindless right clicking that gives me so much joy was quickly interrupted when I realized that... (read more)