Q: My husband and I have been having some really great sex recently. It’s been more frequent and more intense. I guess you might say more vigorous. I’m really enjoying the new momentum in our sex life but I’m finding myself with a variety of minor injuries and issues that are putting a cramp in our style. I’ve had some tearing, some rashes, and some general discomfort. I went to the adult store to look at lube and other things that might help, but I’m really confused. There are too many options and not enough experts. Help!
A: This is one example of how "too much of a good thing" can hurt!
Think of sex like a contact sport; when an athlete increases their workout intensity they should also increase their amount of stretching, water intake, and protection against harm or injury. And after a tiring workout, a mindful athlete will also increase their level of after-care and rest in between bodily exertion. Sex is a type of contact sport, one that also requires us to be risk-aware.
The best way to prevent injuries during sex or any kind of contact play is to not do these things when you are heavily drunk or intoxicated or in an unbalanced state of mind; people tend to get hurt or hurt each other when they aren’t in full control of their touch, or can’t process information or remember events.
Otherwise, it sounds like you two need to rest a bit between your wild sessions, maybe postpone play another day if you’re feeling sore, or move to another area of your bodies. Keep in mind that some of the best sex doesn’t require a penis going into a vagina if you have pussy-soreness this is a great opportunity to get more creative!
Lubricant is a MUST for long or frequent sessions; and many folks like myself use lube because our vaginas don’t often produce enough natural wetness or we dehydrate quickly due to our medication, stress, diet, or other variables.
People have different skin sensitivities; if you have a delicate pH or are prone to yeast infections or bacterial vaginosis, I highly recommend that you look for a water-based lubricant that doesn’t contain parabens or glycerine, and I recommend a hemp-lubricant for occasional use if you begin to feel minor skin irritation.
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